Going Uphill.... as things go Downhill....

We woke up to sunbeams pouring through the Bamboo hut, ready for a second day of trekking!
However Toi, our guide, seemed to be taking things rather slowly, no doubt as the rice whiskey and Bamboo Bong hit home the next morning, and we only left around 11am (hiking in the midday sun = fun times).

SunbeamsWashing up

So with hungover guide in tow we trudged up several mean uphills. He lagged behind huffing and puffing and needing several rest stops.

After a very leisurely lunch in which he took a lengthy nap we set off again and just before entering the village we would spend our final night we took a swim in a river, washing our hair and having a bit of a bath!

Toi watching on as we bathe (the picture makes him look dodgier than I believe it was)

We had passed through the Lisu village we were to stay in when we began our trek and Toi had waxed lyrical about his friend who we would be staying with. However as we entered the village there seemed to be some confusion and we were ushered into a dingy shack/backroom and told this was our lodging for the evening. We are not fussy girls, but it was clear something had gone awry as he asked the owner if we could all crash there ( seemed very last minute). Unlike the other huts it was dirty with one small bed and a fire in the corner.

Toi plonked himself down with the owners and the rice whiskey came out again as we bathed ourselves in insect repellent, gritted our teeth and sat down to play cards.

The men got drunker and drunker and we decided we were just going to get into bed in anycase - as they joked that they would be having a 24-hour party. We each took two sleeping pills, hauled out the earplugs gritted our teeth again at the grimy surroundings and tried to go to sleep as the raucous men swayed in front of the bed, eventually moving the party outside.

 

Our bed.....

The men at the foot of the bed.....

The next morning they all looked very much worse for the wear, and Toi - who had started off so swimmingly seemed embarrassed at the turn of events and ignored us as we headed off with a separate guide to go whitewater rafting!!

We had a wonderful day on the river, with only one or two hair raising rapids. In fact the guides kept throwing us overboard to make the whole experience a little more exciting. Evy fell at one rapid and hit a rock which left a nasty gash in her helmet, while I replayed scenes from the Titanic with Jo.

"I'll never let go, Jack. I promise. "

 

 We stopped to swim at this gorgeous waterfall where our lunch was served as we sat in the spray

Bathing in mud at the Hot Springs

We also passed the famous Cliff Jump, which - as over eager as I am - I ran up to and jumped off. The guides promised faithfully it was 5m deep, but insisted I wear my life jacket. After Jo, Maxine and I had jumped, the second raft (full of men) all refused to jump. Turns out they had been told it was only 2.5m deep and were not keen on paralysis. I admit my feet did touch the floor, but all turned out ok!!

Me, suspended mid-air
Post Jump!

It was a wonderful day and we quickly forgot the dubious evening that threatened to put a damper on an otherwise marvelous trek! At about 6pm we were picked up in a pick-up for a gut-clenching drive back to Pai, as it tore around the corners in a manner that made me uber glad I was looking in the other direction. Guys from the other raft sat smoking cigars and sipping Beer, as the guides (typically one hour or so into the rice whiskey) hung off the edge and passed out on the floor!!

Oh God save us!!!

Running out of space he collapses at our feet

More news to follow. It is getting harder and harder to keep up the pace of the blog as I travel, and we already halfway through Laos! But I am determined to keep it up!!

Oh, here is a picture of the Purple Penis - a device from our Dutch friend meant to make it easier for women who need to pee in less than perfect conditions! I was too nervous and squatted anyhow, but it was a fun novelty and the source of much humor! See - women can even pee standing up these days.....

Trekking in Pai - Jungle worms and Bamboo Bong

Fresh off the bus from Pai, without having found accommodation yet, we bundled into the nearest tour office to book a trek for the next few days. The guy at Backtrax was really flexible and we could structure it as we wanted, two days trekking and a day whitewater rafting!

So we set off the next morning with our guide Toi, and I was awestruck by the lush greenery and picture-perfect scenery, complete with bamboo bridges over streams, paddy fields and farmers going about their day. The beginning of the trail was being turned into a concrete road ( actually by the time we returned a whole section had been complete, these people should be imported into South Africa for roadworks 101) ad a few motorcycles whizzed past us on the trail - signs of civilisation in an interesting contrast with traditional ways.

Me, trekking

Bamboo forest

Roadworks

So this is where pork comes from, we learned rather abruptly in the Lisu village we first passed as they prepared for a wedding.Here the dead swine is turned in burning grass to singe off the hair. 

Lisu woman and child

Baby monkey rescued by villagers


Toi promised us a party that night, saying he had organised two bottles of rice whiskey and a "Bamboo Bong". We glanced at each other somewhat dubiously but agreed enthusiastically that a party would be great!

We stopped for a snack on some rocks at a stream (I still wasn't feeling too great and didn't eat much, figuring I would milk the loss of appetite for all it was worth)

Lunch was in a Karen village an hour or so later, where a local man cooked us some simple noodles with pumpkin leaves (which forms a sort of spinach) and we had some cucumber melon which is a melon-like cucumber, apparently.

                   

 Toi helping get the fire going - Mackerel below.

 Afternoon nap

Toi got started early and poured himself some rice whiskey, a clear liquid which looks very innocent in its water bottle. Much like water actually :) He had already been drinking Red Bull ala Thailand since the morning, and offered us some after lunch. This is my Red Bull advert: Giving you wings - even in the Jungle!

 Village boy trying to lasso a cow

Later that afternoon we reached a waterfall where we had a lovely swim while Toi built us a fire - very fast, big and with good flame, Survivor rating 8/10!

That waterfall might look small but when I swam under it I got pulled right down by the current and had a dreadful near-near-death experience!

After our chilly swim we finally offered a sip of some rice-whiskey to warm us up, mixed with Red Bull it was sort of a Jungle Jagerbomb! It was however disgusting, acrid moonshine take your breath away, fire up your lungs and dissolve your liver kinda disgusting. Well, some people like it - I did not!

I want to do a separate post about some of the things people talk about when traveling, the sparse conditions and close proximity to each other means you may end up discussing the inner workings of your bowels with eager strangers keen to offer their advice. Invariably the topic of the 'jungle toilet' arose. I, being an African an very au fait with things like having to go in the bush (which possibly has nothing to do with being an African but I like to throw that in there) had plenty of advice for those who had never had to "do a bush poo" and were very excited about the prospect. It later emerged that despite regular updates (have you? no, have you?) throughout the trekking trip, there was little success.

Here Maxine practices the "Jungle Squat"

So-so technique - needs practice: Survivor rating 6/10

We arrived at our bamboo hut - our lodgings for the first night - as the sun set beautifully over the valley. Pigs, chickens and the full farmyard contingent were settling in for the night. The bamboo hut serves a dual purpose with one side used as a coop fr the chickens, while the pigs can find shade underneath. We were served freshly fried bamboo worms, which I had to try to truly obtain Jungle cred.

Bamboo Hut

Hmmmm - crispy, flavourful and in a romantic setting - Suvivor rating 10/10!!!

So our hosts, the Lamu tribe, prepared us dinner, which involved another brush with Animals = Where Your Meat Comes From 101. They were sweet and friendly as we made our home in their hut, sparse but for a few blankets and stove area. Farm to eat and live, no place for luxury or 'things'. We truly have managed to complicate our lives in the developed world.

The men sipped continuously on rice whiskey, later stopping to light up the Bamboo Bong. I tried it, although its not really my thing, to little effect.

Toi (already a litte drunk): "I no expert. I no expert. But there are seven types of cannabis. This type one, good for make relax. Next type - good for listen music. But I no expert," he said shrugging his shoulders.

Yeah....right.....

But it was a great evening as we were serenaded with the harmonica. Ppl drinking rice whiskey are however dreadful party poopers as they sip, get drunk, and it all falls apart. No pleasant chilled buzz ever has the chance to settle over the evening. Sitting in candlelight watching our hosts was really fun before we fell fast asleep on our bamboo mats.

Preparing dinner

The chicken - just killed - gets defeathered

The final product

Bamboo Bong

The self-proclaimed Jungle Whiskey Man

The harmonica comes out.

Stay tuned for Day Two: Going Uphill as everything goes Downhill, as I struggle with sloooooow internet in Laos to try and catch up....

Chiang Mai to Pai - 762 curves

Our next stop was Pai, a small, laidback little hippy town north of Chiang Mai. We had decided to go there for some trekking to try and escape the mass of tourists and avoid glazed-eyed hilltribes used to being snapped away at by tourists pouring through their villages.

I finally gave in and took a nausea tablet, thinking it would help me sleep on the 3-4 hour journey. It did knock me out, but no-one really tells you just how dreadful the road is getting there. Being knocked out and jolted awake every 5 seconds is not my idea of fun.

"Winding road!" I scoffed,  Pah, I am South African - we have winding roads galore!!!
Oh no - not this bugger..... 762 curves there are ... and no, not well spaced out but to the right 2,3, 4 to the left 2,3,4 to the right, 2, 3, 4, to the left. And so on and so forth for the entire duration of the drive!

Someone needs to write a stern letter to these road engineers!

But anyway, we eventually arrive in Pai. Pai sweet Pai, such a lovely place to get lost in for a bit. Pai... which in English means "Mosquito", which is the shortened version of "Giant mosquito bite you on face and bum until you look like misshapen idiot"

Ok that isn't true!

But, being north and close to Laos one does have to cover up well. It is also the place we (and others headed to Laos) begin to take our malaria medication. I find this rather amusing. I am generally very healthy, hate pills and never go to the doctor. In the space of two weeks I have been to the pharmacy for a bladder infection, nausea and dreadful acid reflux. Then I take a malaria tablet which has all the above as side effects, and promises photosensitivity. I can't figure out if this means I will get a great tan or skin cancer... watch this space!!

So we hired a scooter to go and find accommodation and booked a special trek starting the next day at Backtrax - two days hiking and one day white-water rafting for just us four girls!! We have all been so excited to get out into nature a bit!

Motorbikes and Thai nightclubs

After the cooking course I had a brainwave to hire a scooter to get around, avoid taxi's and do some exploring around the city without having to go on a tour!
I met up with Courtney, a friend of a friend back home, who very kindly offered to show us around and came with us for a trip up to Wat Doi Suthep, set up on a hill about 45 minutes from Chiang Mai.

I had had one lesson on riding a motorbike in the Amazon once, and another time I was on such a bad date that when I saw the guy's scooter I said I wanted a ride, got a quick lesson and managed to escape for a half hour.

That's enough, and luckily here they ride on a civilised side of the road, the right. Yes RIGHT as in correct.

Filling up for the long ride up to Doi Suthep

In the hectic traffic
 It was a welcome ride - the wind in my face helped fend of the violent nausea from the remnants of my shrimp poisoning and as my nausea tablets did not recommend driving or operating heavy machinery I decided to sacrifice feeling normal again to ferry Evy to the top of the mountain.

A winding drive to the top later and near-wipeout on at least one corner got us to the temple - oh and about a million steps!

Fran, Maxine, Jo and Courtney at the foot of the stairs

View over Chiang Mai
Monks wandering around

Thai girls dancing outside the temple

There were many Thai people giving blessings, getting their fortunes or getting blessed by monks. Evy and I went to get blessed by this monk, ie he sprinkled us with water,  blessed a piece of string and another man tied it around our wrist as a monk is not allowed to touch a woman.

In search of yet more luck - because who can have too much right, I decided to get my fortune. Which entails shaking a container full of sticks (after making a donation) pulling one out and finding the corresponding number and its fortune written on a piece of paper.

Shaking and pulling

hmmmmmmmmm

In search of a bit of authentic-ness, late one evening we stumbled across a giant lit-up nightclub swarming with funky Thai youngsters. There was no cover charge ( I think Max thrust her boobs a little for that) and as we walked in we were assailed with the soulful sounds of a band on stage and pleasantly surprised to see we were the only farang in the bar - success!!!

As most of the Thai people you meet are trying to sell you something, this was a welcome change and we spent a lot of time just people-watching, studying the outrageous fashions and hairstyles. We were also warmly received, with the band acknowledging us, asking us where we were from and the lead singer even kissed my hand. (I probably made an enemy of a million young girls who may or may not have been worshipping that guy for years). After the band the DJ took over and we danced for hours to a mixture of Thai and Western music. It was FUN FUN FUN!!!

Le band!

 

Max and Fran

  P-p-p Poker Face 







Some competition thingy

              

This guy kept trying to talk to me, and we had this conversation about ten times:

"What's your name?" - Fran
"Sorry I don't speak English." - " I don't speak Thai"
*shrugs shoulders, smile and carry on dancing*